Parenting Your Way

Whether you are a parent with ADHD or a parent raising children with ADHD you'll learn that the parenting styles of others just might not work for you.  You'll get a lot of advice from well meaning parents that might not work for you.  I hear advice all the time.  I listen, I mull it over, and I decide if it will work for our family or not.  Somethings I try, other things I know automatically won't work because I know my kids and I know myself.  Such as, my son has a biting problem.  I received much advice on this topic, many of which I tried.  All have so far failed.  But one bit of advice was given to me that I knew immediately would not work--hot sauce on his tongue.  Why wouldn't it work?  Because my son adored spicy foods then.  Even if something spicy made him cry he'd continue to eat it.  The person giving me the advice of course didn't know this and once I informed her agreed it would not work on my son.  Perhaps it will now, since his tolerance for spicy foods has dwindled slightly and perhaps I will try it. 

Parents love to give advice to other parents.  Veteran parents and new parents alike love to pass on their knowledge and expertise--sometimes whether we want their advice or not.  No matter who it is (usually) I listen and ponder if it will work.  I'm not above receiving advice from anyone--well almost anyone, sometimes my pride gets in the way even if it is sound advice.  My mother is a well spring of knowledge on raising children and home remedies for ailments.  There are some I try and some I don't try but I always keep an open ear. 

Not every parenting style will work for your family.  With ADHD structure is very important.  However, your family should find a routine and reward/discipline system that works for you.  Every child is different, ADHD or not.  Some respond well with time outs, others don't at all.  Some respond to hearing disappointment in their parent's voice, others would not be fazed.  Some need spankings, and others never need a spanking in their life.  Be open to new ideas, especially if your methods aren't working well.  But also know that just because you do things differently than your mom or your best friend doesn't mean you are any less of a good parent than they were.