When ADHD Sucks

I often praise the awesomeness of ADHD.  I love the ability to think on my feet and outside the box.  I love that I can hyper-focus on something and get it done in much less the amount of time it would take many of my peers.  In college I could pump out a 10 page research paper in 3-4 hours and get an A.  Of course it was the 3-4 hours immediately prior to the hour it was due.  My brain is wired differently than my peers.  This comes with many advantages that I am quite fond of and proud of.  However, there are times when I think that ADHD totally sucks.  The following is a non-comprehensive list of those times.

1. When I have to throw out the third pan of white sauce, gravy, melting butter, sauteed veggies (fill in the blank) because I got distracted and forgot to keep an eye on it.
2. When I forget that my child is in trouble and leave them in time out for half an hour when it was supposed to be 5 minutes. 
3. When I forget that my child is in trouble and I play with them only to be told, "I'm so glad I'm not in trouble anymore, Mommy!"  
4. When I am focusing so much on what I am doing/watching/reading that I don't realize my daughter has put her fingers in my mouth again...a habit she's had since infancy that I have desperately tried to break.
5. Or like the time when I interrupted myself during a serious conversation...in mid sentence...to point to the side of the road and exclaim "Oh look, a squirrel!"  Yes, I did it.
6. When I think I have 30 minutes to get ready only to realize I now only have 5 minutes to get someplace 10 minutes away.
7. When I go into a sports bar type restaurant with 7 televisions all with different channels and cannot keep a decent conversation with my husband.
8. When I look around my house and see the utter disorganization and an overwhelming sense of dread comes over me when I try to decide to organize keeping me from even knowing where in the world to start.
9. When I tell myself I have to remember what I'm going downstairs to get only to forget what it was as soon as my foot hits that last stair.
10. When I'm talking to a friend and suddenly my mind goes blank (usually mid sentence) and I get a glossed over type a look on my face trying to retrieve my train of thought.
11. When I tell a story that relates to something I am discussing only to follow several rabbit trails and ending at a total loss of what I was trying to say in the first place.
12. When I go into the store determined to spend only 15 minutes there and I emerge 2 hours later.  
13. Or when I can't find the glasses I just had anywhere only to have my husband look at me like I'm insane and tell me I'm holding them in my hand.  
14. When I get so short with my kids because the day has been so chaotic and I'm on my last raw nerve.  
15. When my husband and I are arguing and I overreact because I let my impulsiveness get the better of me.
16. When I let people down because things slip my mind or I bite off more than I can chew or I just procrastinate. 
17. When I feel like I am juggling so many things and I feel like I'm on the verge of dropping everything and failing myself and those I love.
18. When I feel like an outsider wishing the stupidest things didn't pop out of my mouth.  
19. When people don't understand me because they don't understand how my mind works and how differently it works from their own.
20. When people assume I'm lazy or irresponsible because I show up late or have a hard time getting something done on time.  
21. When I can't seem to focus on what a friend or family member is telling me, especially when I know it's something important to them.
22. When I realize I've been on the phone for 15 minutes with someone and haven't heard a word they've said.  
23. When I'm trying to write a blog post and all I can hear is the loud ticking of the clock.

I'm sure there is much more.  But those are some of my least favorite things.  Some are humorous and make me laugh even though they annoy me.  Some have reduced me to tears.  However, knowing I am not the only one who struggles with these things makes me feel better about myself.  It makes me feel like I'm not a failure and that I am doing my best.  I never stop trying to better myself, however, I'm not a bad wife, a bad mother, a bad friend, or a bad family member....  I am trying my best and that's good enough.