The Battle of Wills

My children are difficult. I love them. I adore them. I thank God for them every day. But they are not the easiest children to raise. Don't get me wrong. I'd never trade them in. In fact, I believe they are the most perfect children for me to raise. They never bore me, they keep me on my toes, and never does a day go by where we are not falling into a heap laughing together at least once. My house is filled with laughter and mischief and though sometimes I want to pull my hair out, I absolutely love it. Both children are strong-willed, stubborn and mischevious. My daughter is creative beyond belief and she is always thinking of ways to get one by me. My son is more overt in our battle of wills. He will take me on like a raging bull--screaming, spitting, hitting, biting, and throwing himself to the floor.

It's so easy to become frustrated with my children and feel overwhelmed and at the end of my rope. It's easy to raise my voice and sound harsher than I intended in the heat of the moment. It's hard to see the crushed looks on my kids' faces or to hear Daughter say "Why are you so mad at me, Mommy?" I am not perfect. I am not a "together" type of mother. Sometimes my house is chaotic. My son bites other children. My son is "that kid", you know, the kid no one wants for a play date? He's a sweet boy and I don't know what else to do for him. I'm sure people think, "If she disciplined more, if she was more consistent, if she was more structured, if..." But you know what? I'm doing the best I can. I can't worry about how other people perceive me as a mother. I have to do what I know to do and try everything to help my kids grow up to be well rounded and contributing members of society. I pray for them a lot. I pray that I am the mother they need me to be. Every child is different. Every child needs something different from their parents. You can't treat each child the same--equally fair and loved, yes. You have to show them love and discipline in a language that is unique to them.

Sometimes I cringe at what the years ahead hold for me as my children's mother, especially adolesence. Even then, however, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to raise such wonderful children who I know will grow up to change their world. I might be biased, but I know they have the potential to do whatever they put their minds to. Their creativity and stubborness will take them to amazing heights...if I raise them right. And I constantly pray that God gives me the wisdom, the understanding, and the patience to do so.